Let's Do This

Random/embarrassing fact: I am scared of the ocean. Not in the sense of drowning, my mother put us in swimming at a young age and my father taught us how to respect the ocean and it’s current, teaching us that if the ocean wanted to take us it would, so we needed to be smart and respectful of it’s magnitude. . However, somewhere around the age of boogie boards and summer camp day trips to the beach, I watched the movie Free Willy and heard the line, “It’s teeth can turn your bones into oatmeal” and my life has never been the same. Suddenly I was aware that every time I went into the ocean I was entering someone else’s home and they had every right to react how they saw fit. Sharks could bite me, jellyfish could sting me, and yes, an orca, the very thing that haunted my nightmares, could turn my entire body into oatmeal. . It became a phobia, I couldn’t go in the ocean, I couldn’t swim in the deep end of a pool because the feeling of not being able to touch the ground gave me anxiety, I couldn’t go swimming at night because the water was too dark. I went jet skiing with my brother once and while he sat behind me and I pressed the gas and then the brake, then the gas, then quickly the break, for fear that we would both fall off and be devoured, he quoted lines from our favorite comedians to try and calm my nerves. There was even a time when, if I saw a commercial for seaworld on the tv screen I would go running out of the room. It was bad. . Then I got older, I began swimming in the deep end and realizing how unrealistic it was that a shark would somehow magically appear in a pool I was swimming in. I’d be lying if I said it was easy, I sometimes still have to actively remind myself that I am safe, and when I am in the ocean I make sure I only go in clear waters I know I will be able to look down and see my toes in. It’s all worked out pretty well for me, two summers ago I even went jet skiing by myself and barely touched the brake! . Except now I find myself two days away from a week long trip that takes place throughout the Mediterranean Sea, we have our own boat and along with 50+ other boats will be sailing the seas in the spirit of adventure, and I couldn’t be more excited..or more scared. . It’s easy to tell myself that a shark won’t magically appear in a swimming pool or that an orca won’t show up on the jersey shore, but there’s something about being smack dab in the middle of the ocean, literally laying on a floatie that I bought for ten dollars at target, that has my anxiety at an all time high. Yes, this company does this trip all throughout the summer and they never have problems. Yes, I am more likely to get hit by lightning than bitten by a shark. Yes, I am aware that many people swim in the ocean every single day with nothing ever happening to them. That does not mean my fear does not feel real, even when I know the facts. . So here’s what I’m thinking, I am going to go on this trip and I am going to do a freaking canon ball off the side of our boat! Will I have a momentary freak out? Knowing myself as well as I do, I’m sure the answer is yes. Will it however, be ten times better than sitting on my ass in fear while everyone else is making memories? HELL YES!! . I know it’s obviously easier said than done, when I told Niko about my goal of not letting my fear get to me on this trip, even he said “yea good luck with that,” but I am determined. How much longer am I going to let my fear ruin my chances of making life long memories? . So hopefully, two weeks from now I’ll be able to say, “I did it! I said ‘let’s do this’ and just jumped right into the water!” And I hope the next time you come across a situation where you have a minor freak out, you absolutely go for it! . And then come tell me! I can promise, nothing is more embarrassing than thinking an orca is going to somehow bust through the cement bottom of an inground pool with the sole purpose of devouring you alive