A Lot Can Change In Six Years

Someone I love very much reminded me recently of an anniversary I haven't kept track of. This past weekend marked six years since the grand re-opening of the bakery I purchased, I had already owned it for seven months at that point but after a new paint job and some fun new additions, it was time to celebrate with a party. I can remember almost every single detail of that day, from the moment Sarah and I woke up at 3am to start baking, until the moment I locked the doors late that night, every moment of that day is a part of me. I have so many emotions that bubble up and pour down my face when it comes to the bakery, because I loved that place so much. I worked there for six years before I became the owner, working five to six days a week, and even coming in early for a few hours on my days off just to get them ready for the day. I would help out in the front, answer the phones, and deal with difficult customers long before my job title made those tasks my responsibility. I loved the women I worked with and I still do, because of the bakery I met women that I will always consider family no matter how long it's been since we've talked, and I'm eternally grateful for the two that are still a part of my daily life that I am able to call my best friends. My life changed the moment I started working there, it changed who I was and introduced me to people who would have fundamental impacts on who I am, but every chapter comes to an end. Looking back now I can see that the re-opening party was the start to another chapter, one that again introduced me to people that would change my life and put me on a path I could have never dreamed of, even if that meant the beginning of the end to Sugar + Sunshine.

I don't regret any of it, maybe one day I'll talk about it more in detail and share what that experience was like, but right now I can only see it as the most life changing adventure. Sarah recently asked me when was the moment in my life that I realized I wasn't invincible, and my answer was simple, the bakery. It completely and absolutely kicked my ass, it gave me the best reason to get up in the morning while simultaneously giving me a reason to cry every night, it made me question everything I thought I knew, while celebrating every decision I ever made to get myself to that point. I've never been more disappointed in or proud of myself than I am when it comes to how I handled myself in those four walls. It didn't matter if I was dancing in the kitchen, laughing with my girls up front, or crying in my office, I gave it everything I could, something I sometimes have to remind myself of on the days when I question that and wonder, "but did I?" Now becoming aware of a specific date I think I will make it into a celebration of sorts, when my friend reminded me of the date this past Sunday I was still under the covers snuggled up next to Penelope. I stayed there for another hour staring at the ceiling, letting the memories of the last six years flood me. The memories of that magical place, but more importantly the memories that came after it. I was raised to believe that everything happens for a reason, I know to some that is naive and it's an incredibly difficult concept to wrap out heads around when we think of the atrocities of this word, but in this case it fits perfectly. I needed to accomplish that dream and eventually let it go, to learn that my life is so much more than what I thought it could be. Six years ago my life changed forever, and now that I know what that feels like, something tells me I'm already on the path of a new chapter, one that will change my life again.